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Coaching Topic Of The Month: 5 Dating Truths I Wish Every Client Knew
This article’s inspiration comes from a female client I recently met with who asked me, “What do you wish your female and male clients knew?” In light of that question, I’ve composed a list of 5 dating truths that I wish every client knew:
Self-awareness is your greatest strength: In the years I’ve been here, the clients who succeed the most are the ones who are able to take a critical look at themselves. You are all successful, intelligent, interesting people – but being aware of (and sometimes working to improve) your weaknesses concerning your career, your friends, your health, your relationships and your attitude is what will help you find the right person.
EVERYONE tells us, “I look young for my age”: People are often afraid of getting older, which is why as people age, they want to date someone as youthful as they still feel. It goes back to being self-aware. Yes, many of our clients DO look great for their age, but it’s important to make sure all your values are aligned as well. Even the most attractive looks will fade with age and ultimately you’re left with what’s under the surface!
Your expectations are not always reality: If you come into this process thinking, “I’m going to be in a relationship by (x amount of time)”, you will almost certainly set yourself up for failure and disappointment. There is no magic number of dates you can go on that will promise you a relationship. Some clients find it on their 2nd date and some during their 2nd membership. But our most successful clients acknowledge that we’re here to present them with quality opportunities to meet relationship-minded singles they wouldn’t otherwise meet.
Your “ideal partner” is not necessarily who you will end up with: This also falls under unrealistic expectations. One interesting section I read in Aziz Ansari’s book, Modern Romance, explains that people in reality have no idea who their ideal mate is. Studies have shown that people who date online will set parameters for what they are looking for, but oftentimes end up straying and showing interest in profiles (and often dating those people) outside their criteria. This is why I always recommend to pick 2-3 deal breakers and let the rest go!
We really DO care about your success: This isn’t just a job for us, this is our passion! What keeps all of us at IJL Seattle motivated through the ups and downs of dating are those success stories and happy relationships. Two clients stopped by the other day who recently became engaged and the woman thanked me personally for encouraging her fiancé to make a move – that’s what I work for! Clients who stay positive and keep an open mind and heart are the ones who end up finding “the one” in the end!
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