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How To Be A Great Conversationalist
Conversing with someone should be a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised how often people get it wrong. Date conversation isn’t just about asking questions and learning about each other, there are certain nuances in quality conversation that are important to be mindful of. Here are my top tips:
Ask better questions: Dig deeper. If you’re talking about travel, “What made you want to visit that place?” Or work, “When did you decide you wanted to be a ______?” Or family, “Which parent/sibling are you closest with?” Get the other person really thinking instead of going through the motions.
Be an active listener: A date is not a presentation or business meeting. You are not supposed to sit down and start listing off everything about yourself. Clients do it all the time. There should be an even back and forth. You do not need to use every opportunity to relate something back to yourself. You need to be an active listener. If your date shares something about his/herself, ask follow-up questions.
Leave your ego at the door: Nobody wants to hear about how cool your sailboat is or how many friends you have or how high powered you are at your job. Confidence is a must, but so is modesty. Yes, you want to be the best version of yourself on dates, but you also don’t want to brag.
Be positive: Don’t talk about your friend with cancer, that you hate the traffic in Seattle, how you don’t like your job, that you have a bad relationship with your ex, etc. People pick up on those comments and it’s a huge turn-off.
Read more: Keep up on current events, social trends and popular books. You’ll have a lot more interesting things to share if you know more about the world. Saying things like “I recently read an interesting article about that” or, “The book I’ve been reading has really changed my thinking about _______” will show that you are curious-minded and interesting.
Conversations should be fun, engaging and intriguing. If you find your words falling flat, it’s time to change things up!
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